Tag Archives: Relationships

Sunrise!

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2016 went down as my tumultuous, bipolar year of some sorts: with the highest of highs and lowest of lows.  It was probably the kind of year Charles Dickens’ was thinking of when he wrote, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” because yes, it sure was.

Physical wellness took a nose dive the very first quarter of the year.  An omen perhaps of the things to come.  That spec of dust, which changed me forever.

Then there was an emotional rollercoaster I jumped on in March.

Friendship is one of the best gifts ever.  I could not elaborate more, but slowing down a little in May spent with an angel…”my angel” I should say, was beautiful enough to restore a weary soul.  My family, my work, and my Sunrise as usual were my source of pride and joy.  My Sunrise, always shining in many, many wonderful ways than one, always leaving me wondering the next things that this life would bring in every moment.  They are always the testament of God’s  love – a covenant through a rainbow.  (Oh yes!  I saw one during the last afternoon of 2016 and early morning of 2017! 💙)

So cheers to 2016! The year I probably cried more than any other in my life. Tears of pain, tears of joy (a crazy amount of) tears of pride…you name it! It was the year of hurting and learning. It was my year of transformation and self awareness. I met the new version of myself. And if a beautiful sunrise is a good sign, well 2017, you’ve got me!

My Sunrise⛅️

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Earlier this evening, I cried on my home.

In a middle of a very busy and crazy schedule, my Sunrise squeezed some time, and sat beside me in serenity after he pulled off from work. It’s always a wonderful feeling for me every time I spend moments with special people, and just let time go by.  We sat on the gutter beside the flower box of the church’s garden.  Over time, I’ve learned not to underestimate a peaceful togetherness-the gift of quiet knowing, of being in the moment, moments of silence in between, shoulder-to-shoulder.  It’s beautiful.

Surprisingly, he asked me a verse from the bible, which he saw inside the garden.  My heart melted.  He was like a 7-year old kid, curious, with his eyes beaming with innocence.  Time passed as we talked about God.  The difference in our beliefs and religion,  (He is Hindu, I am Christian.) while understanding that no matter how different we are, we will always bonded by our faith, and nothing can change that.

Before Sunrise, I’d not only been called things I won’t repeat here, I’d not only been hit in the face (literally), kicked in other places (literally), punched in the heart (not literally, but ouch nonetheless), I’d been taught to believe that I needed to lighten up.  Well let’s just say it took me a while, but I did one better: instead of lightening up, I saw the light, and the light is  good man.

Tonight, I did not just see the stars✨, my Sunrise painted the rainbow 🌈 in the evening sky, with him not even knowing it.

Just a Feeling

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Listen to Just a Feeling by Maroon 5 on @AppleMusic.
https://itun.es/ph/C72T1?i=901214038

Slow Saturdays like this makes me feel a little giddy.

You’ve hit your low
You’ve lost control and you want me back
You may not believe me but I gave you all I had
Undress confess that you’re still mine
Roll around in a bed full of tears
I’m still lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

It’s just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

To Fall or Not To Fall

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I never really tried falling for a friend.  I’ve always believed that love and friendship is such a bad  combination, for reasons hard enough to explain.  What I know is that if you like me, you just have to let me know, right there and then, before the flicker fades.  If not, you’ll end up in my long line of buddies – nobody special.  Obviously, I’m different.  When most anybody would start as friends and hit it off thereafter, I want someone to pick me up in the crowd and take a shot in being under my spell.  “Elusive huh?”  Well, that’s reality for me.

In my reality, friends are plain friends.  Once they sign up on my list, they are automatically bound by the rules – my rules.  That’s how simple it works.  Sad to say it only works for me.  I’ve lost quite a number of friends along the way.  For simple reasons that I can’t go anywhere further than the usual route.  I kept myself guarded at all times.  Not wanting to cross the imaginary line that I’ve painted on.  I never really wanted to feel the strange familiarity of loving, and eventually losing someone really close to me.  I guess I’m more afraid of of the latter.  Why?  Whom do I go in case we broke yo, for crying out loud?

I may be silly, you bet I am.  Yet, silly or not, I must admit that there were times when I flirt with the thoughts of falling, but then again, I stick to my values, for all Its worth.  As always, I find my way back round the same circle.  Not wanting to keep questioning how it started or did it even started at all?  Perhaps I’m afraid of ruining something, or perhaps I’m just purely afraid.