I never really tried falling for a friend. I’ve always believed that love and friendship is such a bad combination, for reasons hard enough to explain. What I know is that if you like me, you just have to let me know, right there and then, before the flicker fades. If not, you’ll end up in my long line of buddies – nobody special. Obviously, I’m different. When most anybody would start as friends and hit it off thereafter, I want someone to pick me up in the crowd and take a shot in being under my spell. “Elusive huh?” Well, that’s reality for me.
In my reality, friends are plain friends. Once they sign up on my list, they are automatically bound by the rules – my rules. That’s how simple it works. Sad to say it only works for me. I’ve lost quite a number of friends along the way. For simple reasons that I can’t go anywhere further than the usual route. I kept myself guarded at all times. Not wanting to cross the imaginary line that I’ve painted on. I never really wanted to feel the strange familiarity of loving, and eventually losing someone really close to me. I guess I’m more afraid of of the latter. Why? Whom do I go in case we broke yo, for crying out loud?
I may be silly, you bet I am. Yet, silly or not, I must admit that there were times when I flirt with the thoughts of falling, but then again, I stick to my values, for all Its worth. As always, I find my way back round the same circle. Not wanting to keep questioning how it started or did it even started at all? Perhaps I’m afraid of ruining something, or perhaps I’m just purely afraid.