1. You’re house plants are alive and you can’t smoke any of them.
Kharenina: I still smoke on them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is a out of the question.
Kharenina:Sorry, I can’t relate.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
Kharenina: “Who told you?”

4. 6:00AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
Kharenina: Not applicable!

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
Kharenina: “There’s no music played in the elevator of eCommerce dude! Lol!

6. You watch the weather channel.
Kharenina: Oh yes! I took up Mass Comm remember?

7. You’re friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up’ and “break up.”
Kharenina: “Yeah right!”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
Kharenina: No!

9. Jeans and sweater no longer qualify as “dress up!”
Kharenina: He!  He!

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
Kharenina: No!

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
Kharenina: Funny but no!

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Kharenina: I have KFC and Stackers open 24 hours!

13. You’re car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
Kharenina: “Hell no!”

14. You feed your dog science diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
Kharenina: YES

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Kharenina: Wrong position while sleeping. Lol!

16. You take naps.
Kharenina: Badly needed.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Kharenina: Lol!

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
Kharenina: That didn’t happen when I had my midnight snack with Clint and Ganesh. I even ate cold fries and drank Starbucks coffee and it was fun belly poppin’.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
Kharenina: “nu-uh!”

20. A $4.00 of wine is not a pretty good shit.
Kharenina: I am a beer drinker unfortunately. lol!

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
Kharenina: I just ate corned beef, Indian style for dinner. Lol!

22. I just can’t drink the way I used to “replaces” “I’m never gonna drink that much again.”
Kharenina: I never learn my lesson when it comes to beer and getting boozed.

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of the computer is for real work.
Kharenina: Balanced.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Kharenina: That would ruin my make-up.

25. When you find out you’re friends is pregnant you congratulate them instead of saying, “Oh shit! What the hell happened?”
Kharenina: No!

BONUS:

26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it too. — and now you know why I am forwarding this to you.

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